Once upon a time in the distant and dreary land of Western Virginalia, there lived a Handsome Young Prince (HYP). HYP lived at the beautiful Castle Ghetto with his mother the stunning, sexy, brilliant, vivacious, fun-loving, witty Queen of Western Virginalia.
The queen was distraught because HYP was afflicted with the dreaded disease of Teenagerism and moaned day and night about the boredom he was suffering due to this, so the queen (the beautiful, amazing queen, don't forget) decided to send HYP on a quest.
"Handsome Young Prince," she called to him in a voice like that of a choir of angels, "I am sending you on a quest to find the fierecest creature alive. I want you to locate the elusive DRAGON and bring one back as proof that you have fulfilled your quest. Only then, will you be allowed to attend the Wii Ball."
HYP whined about how unfair his life was compared to all the other HYPs around, but he had no choice but to complete the quest. He began with no fear because along with handsome and young, he was also a very brave prince. He got that from his mother's side of the family.
HYP came to the land of Hickville and inquired of the local peasants whether they had ever seen a dragon in their land. "No", replied one boorish oaf, "but I know how ta kill 'em. Sprinkle pepper in the left nose hole and the dang thing will sneeze hisself to death." HYP rolled his eyes and moved on.
HYP next arrived at the land of Petshop. He queried the guard at the gate and was happy to hear that the land was teeming with dragons. "Good sir," asked HYP "Is it true a dragon can be killed with pepper alone?" The guard was shocked. "Why would you kill a dragon?" he questioned. "I come from West Virginalia" replied HYP "Where my annoying queen mother has commanded that I bring her back a dragon." The helpful guard informed HYP that he could take a baby dragon back to West Virginalia. It would satisfy his mother and would become a loyal companion.
The HYP took his baby dragon home to Western Virginalia where his mother was happy he had something to occupy his time and HYP was pleased to have acquired a fierce, buy loyal royal pet.
MORAL OF THE STORY: I want to buy J.T. an aquarium setup and baby bearded dragon. (more)
